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Velvet Crush #5hhh

photo by Ellen Bjorge

Height: 1587.5 millimeters OR 0.00085718142548596107117 nautical miles

Favorite Position: Juxta(position)

Likes: Cake. Love. Animals. Travel. Live music. The usual.

Hometown: Noneya, Biz

Occupation: Preceptor of Information Technology and Administrative Management, ITAM, CWU

Favorite After-Party Beverage: Coors Light or the tears of my Enemies. Depends on my mood.

Major Injuries:
Electrocution, Lite Brite (1979, Age 6)

Broken arm, parachuting with a garbage bag (1994, age 21)

Stubbed toes, multiple (ages 1-43)

Polka-Dotted Bruises covering 80% of feet, stepping on Legos (1975, age 2, 1976, age 3 (twice), and 1978, age 5)

20 stitches on inner thigh, sliding down telephone pole (1996, age 23)

Sprained Ankle, tripping over sage grass while hiking the M hike in Missoula, MT (2010, age 37)

Broken heart, variety of reasons including but not limited to: Realizing that Maisy was not a real person, but a doll (1978), Maisy falling in the mud (1979), losing Maisy at Cracker Barrel on a road trip (1981). All other broken hearts shall remain unnamed (ages 1-43).

Derby Birthday: November 1, 2016

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