Velvet Crush #5hhh
photo by Ellen Bjorge
Height: 1587.5 millimeters OR 0.00085718142548596107117 nautical miles
Favorite Position: Juxta(position)
Likes: Cake. Love. Animals. Travel. Live music. The usual.
Hometown: Noneya, Biz
Occupation: Preceptor of Information Technology and Administrative Management, ITAM, CWU
Favorite After-Party Beverage: Coors Light or the tears of my Enemies. Depends on my mood.
Electrocution, Lite Brite (1979, Age 6)
Broken arm, parachuting with a garbage bag (1994, age 21)
Stubbed toes, multiple (ages 1-43)
Polka-Dotted Bruises covering 80% of feet, stepping on Legos (1975, age 2, 1976, age 3 (twice), and 1978, age 5)
20 stitches on inner thigh, sliding down telephone pole (1996, age 23)
Sprained Ankle, tripping over sage grass while hiking the M hike in Missoula, MT (2010, age 37)
Broken heart, variety of reasons including but not limited to: Realizing that Maisy was not a real person, but a doll (1978), Maisy falling in the mud (1979), losing Maisy at Cracker Barrel on a road trip (1981). All other broken hearts shall remain unnamed (ages 1-43).
Derby Birthday: November 1, 2016